Knock. Knock. I knocked on my neighbors door without even thinking twice about what I was doing at that moment. "Who is it?" came the voice from the other side. "Uh, um...hi...it's me...your neighbor from apartment 3." "Um, I just wanted...um...well needed to..." The door opened before me in my mid-sentence. "Hi," Sophie greeted me smiling. A very polite smile at that, seeing as how we had never spoken more words to each other, except the occasional "Good morning" and mutual complaints about our flaky landlord. "Hey." I nervously greeted her back, smiling shyly. I began to speak..."Please don't think I'm crazy or insane for asking you this but I am in a bit of a predicament and have no where else to go right now..." Sophie stared at me, nodding slightly, still smiling. Good. She's smiling. I proceeded. "Do you think this is a proper funeral outfit?" I finally asked her, standing in front of her, arms stretched out to the side as if modeling a fancy dress of some sorts. She scanned me up and down. "You're wearing mostly black so I would have to go with yes." "Are you ok?" "Uh...yea, I guess for now I am anyway." I answered her. "It's not for me...I mean Charlie's grandma died this morning and I'm just besides myself when really, I shouldn't be." "I've never been to a funeral so I don't really know what to wear and wasn't sure if the whole 'all black' thing was just an old-wives-tale but..." "You look beautiful," she interrupted me. "It's a very clean-cut and simple look and I am going to assume that is what you would want to be going for?" "Yes, it is. Just something simple and...mourning-ful? I guess?" I said with a slight laugh at my made up, nonexistent word. "Then you are all set." "Ok...yea, I guess I am." "Thank you so much." I genuinely said to her. "No problem at all." "Would you like to come in for a cup of tea or coffee?" she said invitingly. I looked down at my watch. "That's sweet really, but it's getting late and I still have a big load of Statistics homework to get started on and turn in tomorrow morning before I leave." "Thanks though and definitely another time..." Life takes you by surprise. Things that matter one day, are so meaningless the very next. I guess you really shouldn't take anything special and dear to you for granted. A hug, your mother's company, a friend's letter, a day at work, a drive through the scenic fall-colored mountains...none of it should be brushed aside as if you will live that moment again next week. Because, sadly, you may not. I want a winter wedding. I was mean to someone yesterday, though I fully believe that he deserved it and our ties are know severed...for good I hope. Fearing I wouldn't know how to be a compassionate girlfriend, the proper funeral behavior, or the 'right thing' to say to someone who is grieving I lamely googled these things during my day off today. I learned nothing other than be your own loving self and naturally kind words and emotions will just pour out of you at the exact necessary moment. I hope that works for me this weekend. I don't even dare to complain to you how much homework I have to do. It's scary. It's also scary that I am so close to turning 21. I don't know how to be or act 21. I haven't yet had my chance to be a crazy college kid. I own a set of fancy matching crystal candle holders to set a table at special occasions and my bathroom is so perfectly coordinated in plum, wine, and gold that Martha Stewart would be sick. I guess I should wear a hoodie, forget I work an adult 9-5 job, kick back and drink a few beers on my 21st. Just to have that feeling of normalcy I yearn for at times. Happy Halloween everyone. Have a blast! Love you, B | 
